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Prove It

Title: Prove It 
Author: GwenCarmichael
Pairing: Mikey/Brian
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4674
mcr_bingo prompt: Kink—Piercings
Beta: cinnamoretti
Disclaimer: In the words of Gru from Despicable Me… "Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental."
Summary: After Brian talks Gerard down from suicide, Mikey sees him as more than just their manager. 
Prove It
When Gerard got clean and sober, things changed.
They were all back on the bus, in the summer heat, on the road touring again. That was the norm, but everything was different. There was no alcohol anywhere. It was to be expected, really, but Mikey was still caught off guard at times. Just a month before, the mini fridge had been stocked full of beer and the trash had been overflowing with cans, bottles, and plastic cups. Throughout the bus, unwashed clothing that had been the victim of a beverage spill gave off the smell of alcohol; dirty cans had been set on various surfaces. The bus had been full of empty containers and the lingering smell of alcohol.
Now, there was not a drop of booze to be found. No cans, no bottles, no dirty cups. The smell was gone, too. The bus had been meticulously cleaned so that there were no remains anywhere.
The meds were cleaned off the counters as well. Everyone on tour was on some kind of pills. Frank was always dying of something, so he was generally on one antibiotic or another. Aspirin, Tylenol, and any other pills for cramps, or pain of any kind that one could assume while touring, had never been hidden away. They were left out on counters and tables, left lying in open cupboards and any other convenient surface.
Not anymore. Anyone who needed pills kept them stashed in their bunks or in their private bags, out of sight and, theoretically, out of mind.
There was a new face to get used to as well. Bob fucking Bryar, sound man extraordinaire who had somehow been convinced to join their messed up group of miscreants was filling in the place of their new drummer. It was less than ideal timing for him to try to fit in; everything was new and different and uncertain. Bob was doing extremely well, though, considering the recent upheaval. He was quiet and unassuming, but he didn't take any shit. It was a welcome change from the previous months of denial and avoidance.
Finally, Brian had joined them on tour. It was only temporary, he assured them, just a precaution to keep an eye on Gerard and make sure he was okay, to be close by if he needed any help of any kind. Brian was keeping an eye on Bob too, making sure he settled in with the group and was alright with the sudden changes in his own life. He was making sure they would all be able to settle into this new clean—drug and alcohol free, if not actually clean—existence without any mishaps or slipups.
Everything was different. The guys didn't give up drinking, not completely, but they certainly never got shit wrecked around Gerard. If they wanted a drink, they went out and did it privately, out of Gerard's sight, and made sure to get rid of the smell before coming back to the bus. No matter what Frank was dying of, he never took any pills or sleep medicine in front of Gerard; even if it killed him, he moved to the back of the bus to take the drugs and then returned to his space.
Everything was different. Mikey had to watch himself in a way he had never had to before, had to make sure he didn't say or do the wrong thing around Gerard, but it was worth it because every time he looked in Gerard's eyes, he saw Gerard. He didn't see blank empty eyes that barely recognized him; he didn't see falsely adoring eyes that clung to him. He didn't see Gerard staggering around, sneaking away from them, puking his guts out. All he saw was his big brother, and no matter what changed, no matter what stupid things he had to remember, he would never give up the chance to have his brother back.
For the first few days, it seemed that everyone was caught off guard when they woke up to find Brian already drinking his coffee, or when they heard Brian snoring as they tried to sleep. Everyone seemed to get used to it and get over it by day three. Mikey, however, wasn't getting over anything.
That was his first clue that something was going on.
When Brian passed him on the way back to the bunks, Mikey almost jumped out of his skin. Brian gave him a strange look and mouthed 'sorry' at him before returning his full attention to whoever he was on the phone with.
Later, when they all crashed together to watch a movie—'Bonding with Bryar' as Gerard called it—Mikey found himself tracing random shapes on his forearms while staring at Brian. It was then that he realized he was drawing Brian's tattoos on his own arm with his fingers.
He just about had it figured out by the time that he became hyper-aware of Brian's presence. If Brian was standing nearby, Mikey was acutely aware of just how much space was between them, how close together they were. Not only that, but the closer Brian was, the louder his heart pounded and the harder it was to breathe.
When he started dreaming about Brian, there were no more questions. He wanted Brian.
You don't fuck your bandmates. Mikey was pretty sure that that was the number one rule—or at least in the top ten—when it came to bands. The easiest way to fuck up a band was to fuck someone else in it—fuck them, or date them. He wasn't sure it was forbidden to date the manager, but it had to be pretty frowned upon. It would just look bad. The world would either think he was trying to get favors or that fucking was in their contracts, and even though Mikey didn't give a shit what the world thought, his band's opinions still mattered to him, a lot.
He was pretty sure none of them would support him fucking management.
He told himself that it was just a crush; it was just adoration. Brian had saved Gerard's life. Brian was the reason his brother was still alive. It was only natural to feel what he felt—natural and temporary.
He gave up on that attempt pretty quickly. He adored and looked up to a lot of people—Gerard, his mom, Morrissey—but he didn't want to fuck any of them, thank God. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he didn't just want to fuck Brian. He wanted a whole lot more.

Brian was not oblivious to the fact that Mikey wanted to spend more time with him than he ever had during their years as band-and-manager. He certainly wasn't complaining. Mikey was cool, he showered slightly more than Gerard, and he didn't yap Brian's ear off, steal his phone, or sit on him. There were other reasons—reasons more profound than Mikey not being a pain in the ass—that he liked Mikey's attention, but he had spent a fair amount of time not thinking about those reasons and saw no reason to start.
These reasons might have included Mikey's laugh, Mikey's smile, Mikey's general awkwardness, Mikey's strange habits, Mikey's geeky coolness (and other oxymorons), and the fact that Brian was in love with him. These reasons would have come to mind if Brian was not religiously repressing them with a steadfast severity.
It did no good to think about Mikey as anything more than a member of the band he managed, as a friend. That was what he and Mikey would always be, friends, band and manager, always. That was more than enough for most people. It might never be enough for him, but he could pretend. He could act like it was, even fool himself into believing it.

When Mikey asked to room with Brian on a hotel night, no one really thought anything of it. They'd all noticed Mikey drawing closer to Brian and just assumed it was because of Gerard, for Mikey and for Brian. Mikey was Gerard's brother, and Brian… Brian had been on the other end of the phone to keep Gerard from killing himself. If they were getting closer, they had more than enough reason.
In the hotel room, Mikey sat at the foot of his bed, feeling awkward and unsure. He'd decided to tell Brian, he'd been so sure, but now, now that it was time…
"What the fuck is it, Mikey Way?"
Mikey glanced up at Brian, dressed in sleep pants and a t-shirt after his shower.
"What's going on?"
Mikey shrugged. "Nothing."
"Liar." Brian lay down on his own bed, facing Mikey on his side.
"I'm not lying."
"Fuck that. I've known you for two years. I know when you're lying to me."
Mikey shrugged.
"Come on, Mikey. It can't be that bad."
"Yeah, it could," Mikey muttered.
Brian sat up, hearing the seriousness in his voice. "Did Gerard slip up?"
"No! Of course not."
"Do you have a drinking problem?"
"Drugs? Pills?"
"No." Mikey shook his head. "It's not like that."
"Then just tell me, Mikey."
"I like you, okay?"
Then there was silence.
"You mean, like…"
"Yeah." Mikey hung his head. "Like that."
Brian choked out a laugh. "Good one, Mikey."
Mikey's cheeks flushed and his eyes burned when he looked at Brian. "I'm not joking around, Brian."
Brian swallowed hard, and when that didn't help, he did it again. There was no way— "Don't worry about it, Mikey." His voice was strained, even though he was attempting nonchalance. "It's natural. It'll go away."
"I don't want it to go away," Mikey said quietly.
Brian thought he was going to choke on air; his lungs and heart weren't functioning properly. "It's okay, Mikey." Comfort Mikey? He could do that. He was the fucking manager; it was in the job description. "You'll grow out of it, I promise."
"No." Mikey shook his head, stubborn. "It won't go away. I've tried, okay? I like you. I can't stop thinking about you, about your tattoos, your lip ring, your hands, your eyes. Fuck, Brian, you're all I can think about, all the time."
Fuck. Fucking fuck. Fuck again. Brian was getting hard hearing this from Mikey. After all this time, now? "Why now, Mikey?"
Mikey ducked his head. "You saved Gee's life. My brother is alive because of you. I guess I just started paying more attention to you, and what I saw… Fuck, Brian. I know it's messed up. I know it's wrong. I know—"
"No, Mikey. There's nothing wrong with you. It's fine."
"Do you…?"
Oh, God. What was Brian supposed to say to that? The truth? 'Yes, Mikey, I've jerked off thinking about you more times than I can count?' He had spent months protecting himself, and he wasn't about to throw that all out the window over some crush. "Mikey, listen to me." He mentally congratulated himself on sounding level-headed; his manager voice was creeping in but it was still working. "It's perfectly natural. It's like hero worship or something, you know? You look up to someone, you admire someone, it's natural to think it's something more than it is. But that's all it is, Mikey. You just have a crush, I promise, that's all there is between us. That's it."
"You—oh. Okay." He turned away so Brian couldn't see his face.
Mikey wasn't going to cry, was he? Oh God. Brian stood up. "I'm going to go get some magazines. You want anything?"
Mikey just shook his head, not looking at him. As Brian walked past, he wanted more than anything just to reach out to Mikey, to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, but that would only make it worse for both of them.
Outside the hotel, he walked down the sidewalk toward a gas station. Mikey didn't love him; his feelings weren't real. He was thankful to Brian and thought that it was something more. It wasn't. Eventually, Mikey would've come to realize that and he would've run. If Brian gave in and let himself be with Mikey, he would just be setting himself up for heartbreak. This was best, for both of them. Mostly for himself.

The next day, Brian left the tour. He acted all nonchalant, saying that Gerard was as clean as a nun (in the drug and alcohol area, certainly nowhere else) and Bob was practically family, so his job was done. Mikey was the only one who knew—or thought he knew—Brian's real reasons for leaving.
Mikey indulged in what Hollywood cinema had told him was the proper medication for rejection: tubs of ice cream, throwing himself into other activities, and looking as fuckable as possible. It wasn't that he'd never experienced rejection before—hello, high school—but this was different. Brian was different. He was real; he was Mikey's friend. Now, he was gone.

The time around, the band noticed that something was going on. It wasn't that Mikey never ate ice cream, spent hours feeling out new bass lines, or looked like a wet dream. He did all of these things rather regularly. It wasn't his activities that had changed, it was Mikey himself. His silent observance had turned to broody moping; his awkward laughter had turned to careless sound. He just wasn't himself, and Brian got a call when Gerard decided he needed to do something about it.

"Hey, Gerard," Brian answered his phone after checking the ID. "What's up?"
"Brian, we need you back on tour."
Brian sat up instantly and shut off the TV. It was late on Tuesday night; Gerard's calls usually didn't come until early morning when the booze wore off or the drugs freaked him out. Immediately, Brian began making plans: what flight to catch, who on tour to call. "Are you alone? Where are you?"
"In my bunk. The guys are in the back, some kind of tourney or something."
"Okay." Brian reached for his shoes under the coffee table and stomped them on. "I want you to go back by them and tell Ray—"
"I'm fine, Brian. This isn't about me."
"Oh." Brian sat back on the couch, relaxing slightly but not completely. "Then what's going on?"
"It's Mikey."
Fear hit him in the chest for the second time that night. What had happened? Was Mikey drinking? Doing drugs? Fucking fans? "What's wrong with him?"
"I don't—" Gerard sighed. "I don't think he trusts me to be okay without you looking over my shoulder."
"What do you mean?"
"He's been weird, lately. He watches me funny and doesn't leave the bus unless we all go out. He'll let me bounce song ideas off him for hours, but I can tell he's not really listening. He wasn't like that when you were here, but now that you're gone…"
Brian sighed. Gerard saw a worried brother where Brian saw a rejected would-be lover. "He's fine, Gerard. It's not that he doesn't trust you or some other shit, okay? He and I handled it. It's fine."
"My brother is not fine." Brian could hear the steadfast determination in Gerard's voice; he would never back down where Mikey was concerned. "I need you to come back."
When Brian hung up a few minutes later, his flight out was already booked.

Back with the band, Brian's plan was simple: avoid Mikey like the plague. He slept as far away as possible and refused to share a room with Mikey even if the alternative was rooming with a hyped-up Frank or an ultra-intense Gerard. Plain 'Avoid Mikey' also involved a lot fake phone calls, intense text message conversations with himself, sudden headaches, and 'I just remembered this one thing I had to do' situations. It was pretty transparent, and Mikey called him on it.
"I know what you're doing." Mikey cornered him by the bunks one day when Brian skipped watching a movie with the band because the only seat left was beside Mikey.
For a moment, Brian considered denying it, but he decided against that pretty quickly. He also wasn't going to admit to it, so he said nothing.
"You don't have to be such a dick about it."
Mikey gave him a look, suggesting he was exemplifying the accusation just then. "I get it. You don't like dick, you don't like me, you don't like my dick—whatever. But you don't have to be a complete jack ass about it."
"I… Mikey—" He rubbed over the tattoo on the back of his neck. "Fuck it."
"I like you." He spit it out, and fuck, it actually felt kind of good to finally say it to someone.
"You what?" Mikey's voice was quiet and hesitant.
"I like you," Brian repeated. "A lot. I have for a long time."
"Then why—"
"Because you don't want me for the same reasons. Not really."
"For fuck's sake, Brian. Really? This again?"
"It's the truth."
"I liked you before you saved Gerard, okay? And either way, the fact that you saved my brother's life isn't going to go away. We'll always have that."
Brian shook his head. "That's not enough for me. I wanted you for a long time; you can want me for a while longer. You'll be fine."
Mikey gave him a determined look. "I don't want 'fine.' I want you."
Brian tried to ignore the tingle those words set off in his belly, tried to tell himself that Mikey was going to realize it was just a crush. "Then wait for me."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't—I won't let myself get involved with you if you're going to wake up one day and not feel the same."
"No, Mikey. That's just how it is. If you really want me, prove it. Wait for me."
"Okay. I will. I'll wait for you."

The next day, Mikey rolled into Brian's bunk, forcing him to make room where there really wasn't any. "What do you like about me?"
"What the fuck, Mikey?" Brian was more surprised and confused than mad. "I thought—"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm waiting for you. Did you expect me to do it on the other side of the planet? Just 'cause you don't want a 'relationship' or whatever doesn't mean we can't talk. Besides, if I stay away from you, I'll pine or whatever and that'll just make this shit worse and you'll never know if I 'get over' you."
Mikey had a point. Brian had always known Mikey was the smart one out of the pair of them. "What did you ask me?"
Mikey smiled in victory. "You said you liked me before. What do you like about me?"
Brian closed his eyes for a moment. What didn't he like about Mikey? "Your laugh," he decided on finally.
"My laugh?"
"Yeah. And your smile. And the fact that you are the coolest geek I've ever met."
Mikey gave a little laugh at that.
"See? Right there. That's why I—"
"Why you what, Brian?"
"That's why I fell for you." Brian's voice was as soft as Mikey's.
"Is it hard to say that?"
"Yes," Brian answers immediately.
Brian rubs at his face, mostly because he's lying on his back and can't get at the back of his neck. "I've spent the last two years on and off between trying to convince myself that it wasn't real, failing, and then pretending that I didn't want you."
"You could've said something."
Brian rolled onto his side to face him. "Could I have?"
Mikey doesn't answer, but they both know anyway.

"Why do you like me?"
Mikey was absently running through bass lines on his guitar as the bus drove to yet another city when Brian came and sat beside him. Mikey was a bit surprised at the question. It was fair, he thought, since he had asked Brian the same thing, but what really caught him off guard was the fact that Brian was reaching out to him.
"Your eyes."
"My eyes?"
Mikey nodded. "Yeah. Your smile, your laugh. Your tattoos, your piercings." He smiled. "I love how you can look like a little boy in a hoodie and backpack but at the same time look like you can kick my ass."
"That's 'cause I can kick your ass." Brian bumped his shoulder against Mikey's.
"Yeah, that's what you think," Mikey muttered, failing to bite back a smile.
Brian snorted. "No thinking needed. That's a fact of life. Have you seen your arms? I could snap you like a twig."
Mikey smiled distantly. "That's another thing I like about you."
Brian raised an eyebrow. "That I could snap you like a twig? I didn't know you were into that, Mikey Way."
Mikey laughed. "Not that. I like your arms. You have nice arms. And abs. Nice muscles in general. You're hot."
Brian smiled. "So, we've established that I'm a stud and you're not too bad looking yourself. Tell me something deep, something real that you like about me."
"Are you saying I'm shallow?"
"If you can't come up with something better than my amazing looks…"
"Shut up." Mikey shoved him. He thought for a moment, then quietly said. "You have a really good head on your shoulders. Even when things get crazy and fucked up as hell, you're still totally cool with it all. You can handle anything. You can be so serious and intimidating that suits will do whatever you say, but in the next minute, you're one of the guys and you're cool as fuck to hang out with. I really like that."
Brian's eyes widened just a little, like maybe, deep down, a part of him had only expected Mikey to like him for his looks.
"Who's shallow now, huh?" Mikey grinned.
"I don't just want you for your body."
"Yeah? Prove it. What you got?"
Brian looked straight into his eyes and said, "You're the most beautiful person I know."
Mikey shivered, but Brian continued. "You're sweet and funny. You're so fucking smart. I could talk to you for hours about nothing but still feel like I'm more connected to you than I've ever been to anyone else."
Mikey slowly let out the breath he'd been holding, eyes wide. When he spoke, his voice was low and a little rough. "I really want to kiss you right now."
"I always want to kiss you."
Mikey shivered again but didn't take that as an invitation, just a statement of fact. "Can I kiss you, Brian?"
Brian actually thought about it, thought about what it would finally feel like to have Mikey's mouth on his, to touch Mikey's skin with intention, what it would mean. "Yes."
When Mikey's mouth touched his, it was everything he had imagined and more. Mikey's lips were a little chapped but still soft and warm. He was gentle, oh so gentle, and a little hesitant, not wanting to push in any way. Brian slid a hand up into Mikey's hair, parting his lips just a little bit, and felt Mikey sigh into his mouth. When he pulled back, Mikey looked at him with gently lidded eyes.
"That was even better than I imagined."
Brian smiled. "I was thinking the exact same thing."

"My brother is the most important person to me in the world."
Brian knew this—it was obvious to anyone who'd ever seen Gerard and Mikey together, but he just nodded, letting Mikey continue as he straightened his hair, occasionally glancing in the mirror to see Brian ignoring the magazine on his lap. 
"Every since we were kids, it's always been me and Gerard.  Me and him against the world.  He taught me everything; he fucking taught me how to jerk off.  He brought me comics and old movies and mix tapes.  And when the kids at school were mean to him, I tried to stand up to them as best I could. 
"And now, now we're together all the time.  It's me and him against the world still.  I never thought—I never thought it would be like this, that it could be like this.  Gerard was going to be an artist; he had a fucking good job in New York.  I was going to play in a band and starve in a van driving around the country.  We were barely supposed to ever see each other, but now, we're together all the time."  He met Brian's eyes in the mirror.  "I just never thought it would be like this."
And Brian knew he wasn't talking about Gerard anymore. 

"I would've given anything to manage you guys."
They were killing zombies in the back of the bus when Brian glanced over at Mikey and started talking. 
"When I heard you guys for the first time, I knew right away.  I would give up everything I had to manage you.  I'd spend all my savings, sell everything I own, to be your manager. 
"And when you didn't say 'yes' right away, I freaked the fuck out.  I didn't know how to prove myself to you guys.  I only knew that I needed to be part of this.  I would've done anything you guys asked, anything I thought you wanted."
He met Mikey's eyes.  "And I still would."

Mikey and Brian talked a lot.  During movies, during soundcheck, on rides to venues, in make up rooms, at fast food joints.  It didn't matter where they were or what they were doing—or supposed to be doing.  Slowly, Brian began to realize that Mikey's feelings weren't going to up and disappear one day. 
Brian let them make out, just once, but it was the most amazing experience of Mikey's life.  He thought about it constantly, thought about the feel of Brian's hands on the small of his back as he straddled Brian's thighs in the lounge one night when the rest of the guys were out.  Brian had slipped his hands down, squeezing Mikey's ass, and Mikey had moaned into this mouth, gripping Brian's too short hair tighter in his fingers.  He had sucked Brian's lip ring into his mouth, found that it was a turn on for Brian, and did it again and again.  Warm mouths and slick tongues, too much teeth and spit, but it was amazing and perfect and Mikey never wanted it to end. 

Brian stood sidestage at a concert one night, watching them play.  He was incredibly proud.  The five small town idiots he managed were taking the world by storm and nothing was going to stop them.  They'd faced their roadblocks—losing their drummer, almost losing their frontman, drugs, pills, booze, and all the horrible wonders of the world.  Here they were on the other side, stronger and better than ever before. 
If they could stand in front of the whole world and let all their fans watch as they faced their demons, maybe Brian could too. 
When Mikey got off stage, Brian wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply.  Brian had never kissed him in public, or even in front of the other members of the band, and for a moment, Mikey was too surprised to do anything. Then he slid his fingers into Brian's hair and kissed him back. 
When Brian pulled back, both of them were flushed and a little lost for breath. 
"Do you want to be my boyfriend, Mikey Way?"
For a moment, Mikey just blinked at him, but then he broke into a beautiful smile. "I was afraid you'd never ask." 
Brian leaned in again, but instead of kissing him, he whispered, "So was I." 
They kissed again, and Brian didn't care if the entire band and crew saw them.  He didn't care if fans or cameramen saw them and posted their pictures all over the web.  He didn't care about worrying if what he had was real or not.  It was their turn, his and Mikey's, and everyone else would just have to deal with it.   



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 28th, 2011 07:18 am (UTC)
Absolutely adorable!
Aug. 28th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC)
Re: X)
Aww, thank you! (your icon is adorable too!) :D
Aug. 30th, 2011 04:19 am (UTC)
Re: X)
Awww! Thank you! XD
Aug. 28th, 2011 05:13 pm (UTC)
LOVE this! I'd never really considered Mikey/Brian before (tho I will read anyone with Mikey) but they really worked for me.

I love the hesitation - and how they took it slow - I can just picture all those heart to hearts, building something real and deep - just lovely! ♥
Aug. 28th, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean! I kind of fell in love with Brian when I found out that he was on the other end of the phone keeping Gerard from offing himself, and I thought it was only natural for Mikey to fall for the guy who saved his brother. Mikey and Brian are my two favorite people to read about, and I couldn't figure out why I hadn't put them together before! Thanks for reading; your sweet comment makes me smile :)
Aug. 28th, 2011 05:18 pm (UTC)

I have a new pairing to ship because this was amazing. Mikey/Brian=Me gusta.

Aug. 28th, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thank you so much for reading and commenting! :D
Oct. 1st, 2011 01:51 pm (UTC)
This was so good, I'm not sure If I've read this pairing before, but I know I would again now. This was really sweet and hot. I loved how they didn't rush things, both wanting to be sure it was right :D
Oct. 2nd, 2011 02:31 pm (UTC)
Oh thank you! I thought it was a nice change to all those stories where one of them has been in love with the other and then they jump into things as soon as they realize they're both interested. If I wre Brian, I totally would've taken my time and made sure that Mikey wasn't just going through a phase :) I fell in love with Brian when I found out that he saved Gerard's life, so I thought Mikey would too :) Thanks for reading and commenting!
Oct. 2nd, 2011 04:06 pm (UTC)
Hehe as fun as some of the fics were they jump in to a relationship are, this was definitly a welcome change of pace. I'm going to have to make time to read all your fics lol :D
Oct. 2nd, 2011 06:30 pm (UTC)
Yay! :) the link to my master list is on the left below my icon.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )