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Not What You Signed Up For

Title: Not What You Signed Up For
Author: GwenCarmichael
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2184
mcr_bingo prompt: First—Topping
Beta: cinnamoretti
Disclaimer: In the words of Gru from Despicable Me… "Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental."
Summary: Bert has messed Gerard up, and Frank helps him get through it.
Author's Note: Bert McCracken is not the asshole I've written him as in this story, and if he is, I don't want to know.   

 
Not What You Signed Up For
 
Gerard tangled his fingers with Frank's as they walked back to the bus after a late-night dinner—or early morning breakfast—somewhere in the northeast. He loved how comfortable and relaxed he felt around Frank, how Frank never pressured him or made demands. Frank was an easy going guy, and what was more, he cared.
 
They'd been dating for a while, having gotten together some time after Bert had realized sober Gerard wouldn't worship the ground he walked on or get so drunk he'd let Bert fuck him dry. Frank and Gerard had progressed to the point where sex was the next logical step, and that was when they realized Bert had messed Gerard up pretty bad. For the time being, sex was off the menu, and every so often, Gerard would randomly mention some scarring experience. Telling Frank each story healed Gerard bit by bit, and Frank was moved every time with just how much Gerard trusted him.
 
The pair of them stretched out in the front of the bus, assuming that the cries of 'Die, Mikey, just die already!' and 'Bob Bryar, I'm going to shoot you in the head!' were just the guys playing video games, not actually murdering each other. If they were short a bass player or a drummer at the next show, they'd consider themselves corrected.
 
Frank pulled Gerard against his chest and ran fingers through his freshly—well, recently—washed hair.
 
"Bert wasn't really into this part of the sub/dom relationship," Gerard said softly, his eyes closed.
 
Frank tilted his chin to watch him but didn't interrupt.
 
"It was never right for us anyway. There were times when I was too drunk or too scared to go under, and he'd get pissed. Even if I did it right, he didn't really care too much for the after part. He usually just passed out."
 
"If you were scared of him, how did you go under, ever?"
 
Gerard shrugged against Frank's belly. "I was drunk most of the time, or on something. And I like being under, trusting someone else with my life, even if I was scared of him."
 
Frank made a little noise and Gerard went still. "Do you think I'm a bad person?"
 
"What? No, of course not. Never. I just, I don't know how you did it—put yourself under, trusted him, even though you were scared of him. I couldn't do it."
 
"You're not a sub, Frankie."
 
"Screw being a sub or a dom. Sex is a lot of fucking trust."
 
"Yeah, it is." Gerard sighed. "Thanks for putting up with this, Frankie."
 
"I'm not putting up with anything, Gerard," Frank said firmly.
 
"You know what I mean. I know it's gotta suck for you."
 
Frank snorted. "Going without sex never killed anyone. I've got dozens of men I grew up around as proof—Catholic school boy, remember?"
 
Gerard laughed. "Still, thank you, Frankie. I know this isn't what you thought you were getting yourself into."
 
"I came into this with an open mind, Gee. No expectations. I'm not just here to fuck."
 
"Yeah." Gee smiled and burrowed his head more comfortably against Frank's chest. "I know."
 

 
After leaving the gas station bathroom, Gerard filled a tray with coffees as Frank filled the counter with junk food. Bob was scouting for new movies while Ray picked up postcards and maybe—probably—a hat he'd never wear. Mikey was standing outside talking on the phone to someone, maybe Pete.
 
Gerard ambled over to Frank to place his vote on which chips were better and found himself saying, "Bert used to leave me in bathrooms."
 
"What?" Frank asked, caught by surprise.
 
"In gas stations or truck stops, usually. We'd get totally wasted and he'd find us a bathroom somewhere. He'd fuck me 'til I passed out or wait 'til I passed out, then fuck me. He'd leave me there when he was done. I'd wake up in a bathroom somewhere, and then try to figure out who to call to hook back up with the tour."
 
"Jesus, Gee." Forget dangerous sex games. Frank knew how stupidly dangerous it was to leave anyone passed out in a bathroom, much less Gerard fucking Way. "He left you in truck stop bathrooms?"
 
Gerard shrugged.
 
"So, you never got drunk and then just got lost?"
 
Gerard snorted. "I did that, too. Just not very often. I just said I did."
 
He grabbed a bag of licorice, and Frank couldn't help but stare wide-eyed as Gerard casually made his way to the counter. Frank had thought he was a crazy messed up fucker, but Gerard, Gerard took it to a whole new level, one that freaked Frank out a little bit.
 

 
"Bert liked enema."
 
Frank looked up from his cereal. It was midmorning on the bus ride to God-knew-where, and even though they hadn't been on the subject of sex or any liquids in anyone's ass, Gerard blurted out one of his sexual experimentations with Bert. Frank swallowed his cereal. "Yeah, I know what that is."
 
"Have you ever done it? Or had it done to you?"
 
Frank shook his head.
 
"It hurts like a motherfucker," Gerard said bitterly, eyes hard. "And it's humiliating as shit. But Bert liked it, so…"
 
"So you did it."
 
"Well, yeah. It's not—There's some pain I like, okay? But this, there was nothing sexy about it. I'd cramp up so bad and get nothing out of it and then Bert always watched it all drain out of me. So fucking humiliating…"
 
"I don't think filling my ass with water got him hot, not really. He just liked to hurt me, watch me be embarrassed as fuck. Sadism, fine, whatever. I told him I hated it, that it didn't do anything for me, and I think that just made him like it more."
 
Frank continued eating his cereal, but his full attention was on Gerard. His stomach was tight and he didn't think he'd be able to keep his breakfast down, but if he stopped, it would make Gerard uncomfortable.
 
"I never want to do that again, ever." Gerard hesitated for a moment and glanced at Frank through his eyelashes, adding, "But, if you want me to…"
 
Frank shook his head. "No. I don't want to do that, and even if I did, I would never ask you to do something you didn't want to do."
 
Gerard blushed a little and looked down. "Thanks," he mumbled.
 
"It's nothing."
 
"Yeah, it is."
 
Where Gerard was concerned, it meant the world.
 

 
"I think the worst part about everything Bert did to me was that I liked it."
 
Frank glanced up at Gerard, mouth full of waffles, eyes wide. "What?"
 
Gerard shrugged. "Some of it sucked. It always sucks to wake up alone, especially in the middle of God knows where. I didn't like that shit. But the rest of it? I like it rough; I like it to hurt a little bit. I like it when a guy can just fuck my face, you know? Bert just took it to extremes."
 
"Gerard—"
 
Gerard held up a hand. "Wait, okay? I know what you're gonna say. But that's what I like."
 
Frank shook his head. "That's not what I was gonna say."
 
"Well?"
 
"I was gonna say that I like to try stuff too, you know? But no matter what, no matter what stupid roleplay or kink we're trying, I'm never going to hurt you—really hurt you, I mean. I'm never going to leave you somewhere or fuck you when you're unconscious. I'm never going to get mad if you can't go under, or don't feel okay with it, or if you want to dom me. I'm never going to be Bert, Gerard, ever. I swear to you, I'm not."
 
Gerard watched him solemnly, his eyes open and trusting. "I know, Frankie."
 
"Do you?"
 
Gerard paused for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I do know. You're not Bert; you're never going to be. You're everything he never was for me. You give a shit about me; you want what's best for me. You care, Frankie."
 
"Yeah, I do," Frank said quietly.
 
"I care, too."
 
Frank nodded immediately, a small smile on his mouth. "I know."
 
"I trust you."
 
"I know that, too. It takes a whole fucking lot of trust to tell someone all the things you've told me."
 
"Yeah."
 
Frank smiled at him.
 
"I love you."
 
"I know."
 
"This isn't Star Wars. This is where you tell me you love me too, asshole."
 
"'I love you too, asshole.'" Frank grinned wide at him.
 
Gerard rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm feeling the love."
 
Frank pushed back his grin, leaned forward, and looked straight into Gerard's eyes. "I love you, Gerard Way," he said in a soft, even voice, and Gerard was pretty sure either his heart was about to explode or the butterflies were going to eat their way out of his stomach.
 

 
"I'm ready," Gerard said, sitting down beside Frank on the hotel bed.
 
Frank's eyes widened slightly. "Are you sure?"
 
Gerard nodded. "I've been thinking about it a lot. I love you. I trust you. I'm ready."
 
"I've been thinking about it a lot, too."
 
"Yeah?"
 
"Yeah." Frank watched Gerard carefully, wanting to gauge his reaction. "I think you should fuck me."
 
For a moment, Gerard didn't react at all. Then he blinked and drew his eyebrows together. "What? Why?"
 
"Bert was an ass to you," Frank said flatly. "He hurt you, and he used you. I will never do that to you, ever."
 
"I know, Frankie."
 
"So I want you to fuck me, at least the first time."
 
Gerard shook his head. "Frankie, I've never—you know. I've never topped before."
 
Frank's eyes widened. "Never?"
 
Gerard shook his head and quoted, "'Too sassy to top.'" He snorted. "More like, 'too drunk and stupid.'"
 
"Hey," Frank said. "Don't do that."
 
Gerard just shrugged, not meeting Frank's eyes.
 
"I want you to fuck me, Gee. Do you want to?"
 
"What if I fuck it up?"
 
"As long as the 'up' is me, that's kind of the point," Frank joked.
 
Gerard elbowed him. "You know what I mean."
 
Frank smiled. "I’m not worried. Gerard—" He waited until Gerard met his eyes. "—I would love to be the first person you ever fuck. But I'm not going to ask you to do something you don't want to do."
 
Gerard watched him carefully. "Frank Iero, what the fuck are you doing with me?"
 
"Trying to make you realize I'm in love with you," Frank replied, his voice soft and sure.
 
"Yeah?"
 
Frank smiled. "Head over heels. Forever."
 
Gerard smiled. "I've got lube in my bag."
 
Frank's smile widened. "I've got a bottle in pretty much everything I own, just in case."
 
Gerard laughed and Frank kissed him, one hand cupping Gerard's jaw, the other resting on his hip. Gerard threaded his fingers in Frank's hair, hauling him closer.
 
Frank's lips were warm and soft and perfect, his tongue hot and slick as he climbed onto Gerard's lap and attacked his mouth. He rocked against Gerard, making him moan, and slid a hand up under Gerard's shirt, his fingers warm and firm on Gerard's skin.
 
Gerard pushed Frank back and tugged off his shirt. Frank got the idea and pulled his own over his head before Gerard knocked him back onto the mattress. Running his fingers over Frank's colored skin, Gerard mouthed across his chest, nipping, licking, and sucking. Frank groaned when Gerard got to his nipples and tugged them with his teeth.
 
"C'mon, Gee," Frank panted. "C'mon."
 
Gerard unbuckled Frank's jeans and pulled them off along with his underwear and then struggled out of his own. Digging out a bottle of lube from his bag, his only thought was to spread Frank open—until he was distracted by the sight Frank's red and swollen mouth. He slipped his tongue along Frank's, groaning as he rubbed off against Frank's cock, moaning as Frank's fingers grappled over his sweaty skin.
 
He pulled away, inching down Frank's body and slicking his fingers with lube. Frank spread his legs, and Gerard slowly pressed a finger inside him. He could hear Frank making sounds above him, but all he could do was stare, mesmerized by the way his finger disappeared into Frank's body. He went slow and took his time, watching with wide eyes and an open mouth.
 
By the time Gerard had three fingers inside him, Frank was writhing. "Please, Gerard. I can't—I need you. Next time we'll go as slow as you want, I promise, but this time, I need—please."
 
"Okay, Frankie." Gerard came up, kissed Frank gently, and caught Frank's choked exhale as he slid inside.
 
Frank didn't last long, coming untouched well before Gerard.
 
As Gerard lay tangled with Frank after, he whispered, "Was that okay?"
 
Frank made a choking sound. "Any idiot who didn't beg you to fuck him doesn't know what he's missing. Best of my life."
 
Gerard smiled. "Yeah, me too."
 
Frank kissed him. "I love you."
 
"I love you, too."

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
kittys_devil
Sep. 11th, 2011 04:32 am (UTC)
So wonderfully written. Love how blunt Gerard is! Frank is so understanding and sweet about it all. love it!
gwencarmichael
Sep. 11th, 2011 04:43 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! I felt blunt was the best way to handle it without making Gerard's past sound like a tragedy. Thanks for reading :)
biebermustdie
Sep. 11th, 2011 01:09 pm (UTC)
I was hoping you'd leave Gee a bottom :c top!Gerard kinda freaks me out o.o. But that was an AMAZING story <3 <3 <3
biebermustdie
Sep. 11th, 2011 01:10 pm (UTC)
OH. STUPID ME. I NEVER READ THE PROMPT e______e
gwencarmichael
Sep. 11th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! And I know what you mean. Sometimes I'm reading a story and they switch up who's on top and who's on the bottom and I'm like 'huh?' Glad you liked it otherwise though :)
quirky_b_roll
Sep. 11th, 2011 02:50 pm (UTC)
This is really good, its beautifully written and I just love the way the whole relationship is shown. Memories for sure :)
gwencarmichael
Sep. 11th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thank you so much :D
(Deleted comment)
gwencarmichael
Sep. 11th, 2011 10:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! And I'm glad you caught that in the A/N. I don't know much about Bert, but from what I've seen, he seems like a good guy. I don't know why, but I always feel it necessary to throw in a disclaimer when I turn a real person into an ass.
lizibabes
Sep. 11th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
I loved how Sweet and caring Frank was and how Gerard just blurted stuff out when ever he felt comfortable.
gwencarmichael
Sep. 11th, 2011 10:05 pm (UTC)
Yay! I love the blurting, too; it was fun (and easy) to write :) Thanks for reading!
shinodarely
Sep. 14th, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
wonderful, you did a great job with this prompt. I love the way you handled gee's past and frank was just perfect!
gwencarmichael
Sep. 14th, 2011 07:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! :D
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )