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Shut Up And Blow Me

Title: Shut Up And Blow Me
Author: GwenCarmichael
Band: My Chemical Romance
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: R
Word Count: 1460
Beta: cinnamoretti
Disclaimer: In the words of Gru from Despicable Me… "Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental."
Summary: Frank owes Gerard after kicking him in the balls on stage.  
Author's Note: Inspired by this video here
Shut Up And Blow Me
Frank toweled off his ass before dressing the bottom half of his body. Screw putting on a shirt—it was too hot for that. He wouldn't have bothered with pants either, but he was still at the venue. God only knew what kind of people he'd run into or who would post pictures of his junk online.
He ran his fingers through his hair as he stepped back into the dressing room. He personally believed that all venues should install showers. He might be used to the reek of tour life, but there was no need for civilians to be exposed to it. Venue showers were a win-win all around.
Not that the rest of his band was taking advantage of the shower opportunity. The Way brothers smelled like a sewage treatment, and while Ray didn't wash up half as often as Frank would have liked, he at least used dry shampoo every couple days.
Gerard was sprawled in a chair, a water bottle pressed to his crotch, with the rest of the band spread throughout the room. A few friends and techs were there as well, all either oblivious to the stink of the band or very good at repressing their gag reflex.
"Did you get kicked in the balls by someone named Frankie?"
Frank grinned, and Gerard nodded somberly. "I was wondering what he was doing over there in the first place. I was like, 'Oh, he's way over here', and then when he kicked me in the balls, I was like, 'What did I do?'"
Frank laughed, at Gerard's expression, the memory of kicking him in the balls, and the adrenaline still plowing through him.
Gerard finally saw him and looked at him with wide eyes. "Did I do something?"
Frank grinned, wide. "No."
"Then why?"
"I just felt like it." Frank shrugged, laughing.
Ray crossed his legs protectively. "Glad I have a guitar to protect my junk from you."
Frank burst out laughing. It wasn't really that funny—none of it was—but in his wired state, it was hilarious.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Gerard asked, tired eyes wide.
"Yeah. I just—I just felt like it. For no reason, man. I was all over the stage, and then I was next to you, and I was just like, 'I should kick him in the balls,'" Frank gasped out, still laughing.
"Oh, yeah, fucking great idea," Gerard muttered.
Mikey shrugged. "It'll keep the fans on their toes. Every time Frank gets close, they'll wonder, 'Is he gonna kiss him or hit him?'"
"Your face was priceless," Ray said with a laugh.
"That fucking hurt!" Gerard cried indignantly. "You won't think it's so funny when it's your balls he's kicking."
Ray winced, but he was still smiling good naturedly.
Frank pulled out a chair and plopped down next to Gerard. "Sorry. I'll try to keep my feet on the floor. Off your balls, at least."
"And off my drums," Bob added.
"And off your drums."
Suddenly Gerard leaned forward, reached across Frank's bare chest, and grabbed one of his nipples, pinching and twisting hard.
"Jesus, fuck!" Frank cried. "What the fuck, Gee? Why would you—okay, I know why—but fuck! I got you on stage; I wasn't even thinking. This was premeditated!"
Gerard sat back and shrugged. "Not really. I was just sitting here, with my balls in a knot, and I thought, 'I'd like to hurt Frank.' So I did."
Frank hunched forward protectively. "Jesus. Who peed in your Wheaties?"
"You kicked me in the balls!"
Frank couldn't help but smile at the memory again. "That's going in the tour DVD."
"You owe me, fucker."
Frank just smiled. "Sure. Anything you want. Want me to lend you my shampoo?"
"Oh, fuck you." Gerard flipped him off, but he was smiling.
"Mikey might want to borrow it," Ray said, running his fingertips over Mikey's slick hair. When Mikey jerked away, pulling a face, Ray added, "He won't be getting any if he doesn't shower."
"TMI, Ray," Gerard replied on reflex.
Frank's eyes lit up. "That's genius, Ray. I may start employing that rule."
Gerard snorted. "Good luck with that. I can go a lot longer without showering that you can go without getting laid."

At the hotel—it was a rare and glorious hotel night—Gerard dumped his bags at the side of his bed and rubbed at his head, pushing his hair around in a ratty mess. It looked like someone had dumped a vat of fry grease on his head, and Frank couldn't imagine touching Gerard's nasty hair.
"Come here," Gerard ordered, hands on his hips.
Frank glanced up from digging in his bag, surprised by Gerard's tone, and obeyed, moving to stand across from him at the foot of Gerard's bed.
Gerard just looked at him for a moment, then wrapped his arms around Frank's neck and bowed into him.
"Gee! I just showered, fucker."
"I don't care." Gerard kissed him roughly, all tongue and teeth—hard, sloppy, and aggressive. He pulled back, panting, and demanded, "Blow me."
Frank cocked an eyebrow.
"You owe me." Gerard pushed down on Frank's shoulders. "So blow me."
Frank willingly went to his knees, gripping Gerard's hips and burying his face in Gerard's crotch. He pulled a face, even though Gerard couldn't see it. God, he smelled bad, and his jeans were filthy with sweat and B.O. Frank tried to remember the last time Brian had raided the bus with the Febreeze bottle. Whenever it was, it was overdue again. Long overdue.
He tugged at the button and zip of Gerard's pants, pulled them down with his underwear, and gagged at the overpowering wave of stench. Jesus Christ. Why was Frank the only one concerned with personal hygiene?
"C'mon." Gerard rocked his hips a little, impatient. "Do it."
Frank licked at the head and down the side, pulling back long before he reached the curls of hair at the base. He went down on him tentatively, and Gerard made a low sound. Frank gagged, even though Gerard's dick was nowhere near the back of his throat, and pulled off.
"Fuck, you taste nasty. Have you showered yet this tour?"
"Shut up, you fucker, and blow me," Gerard growled and pushed Frank's mouth back onto his dick.
Frank was sloppy, but Gerard didn't seem to mind. Breathing through his nose wasn't very helpful, but it was that or be suffocated by Gerard's dick. He could feel spit running down his chin, but before he could get self-conscious, he heard Gerard making desperate sounds above him.
Gerard grabbed onto his hair and fucked his face a little, nothing rough, just enough to get what he was looking for. Frank relaxed his throat and let him do what he wanted. Gerard knew how much Frank could take, and he didn't push the limits.
Frank gripped Gerard's hips tighter as Gerard came in his mouth, sucking him through it and swallowing as much as he could. When he pulled back, he wiped at the come and spit on his chin and grinned up at Gerard, who was still breathing hard, eyelids heavy.
"You should fuck me, too."
Frank snorted as he got to his feet, feeling the blood flow in his knees. "That's where I draw the line. Shower first. Then I'll fuck you."
Gerard rolled his eyes. "God, Frank."
"Not even God would fuck you like this."
Gerard laughed and tugged off his shirt. "God wouldn't fuck me if I showered in holy water."
"Smart man."
"Oh, fuck you." Gerard struggled out of his pants. "You love it, and you know it."
"Yeah, yeah." Frank was smiling though, and he reached out to smack Gerard's bare ass. "Shower, then sex."
Gerard rolled his eyes but went to shower anyway. If it meant getting to have sex with Frank, he'd even use soap.

Frank lay in bed, curled up with his finally showered Gerard. He sighed contentedly.
"You know we're both nasty again," Gerard pointed out.
"At least we were clean when we started. That's what counts."
"I have come in my ass."
Frank snorted. "You like to be nasty. That should feel normal for you."
Gerard elbowed him. "Maybe I won't let you fuck me anymore."
"Yeah? And then who'd make you shower once a month before you kill our fans with your stink?"
"You're really great with pillow talk," Gerard said dryly. "Such a charmer. Why do I put out for this?"
"'Cause I rock your world."
"Not helping your argument, Frank."
Propping himself up on one elbow, Frank threaded his fingers in Gerard's hair and kissed him long and slow, leaving him breathless. "That's why you put up with me."
"Yeah." Gerard smiled up at him. "That's why."


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 4th, 2011 02:26 am (UTC)
I really loved that you based this on Frank kicking Gerard in the nuts. It still makes me giggle. Also, hot.
Oct. 4th, 2011 02:31 am (UTC)
I'm glad! Thanks :)
Oct. 4th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is great! I love how disgusted Frank is the entire time by everybody's lack of personal hygiene, and the little glimpse of Ray/Mikey made me grin *g* Thanks for sharing!

Oh for fuck's sake, why do I still not have a Frank/Gerard icon..
Oct. 4th, 2011 07:34 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D

(btw, your icon is adorable!)
Oct. 4th, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC)
I loved Frank exsplaining why he kicked Gerard, it was really funny!! Love the pillow talk :)
Oct. 5th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! :D
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )